My thoughts exactly, if she says she wont drive it again shes obviously deeply upset and she should be your priority, not the van. Cancelling trips because you're a perfectionist will make it worse, after lockdown thats mental torture for her. As a widower I would give anything for one of your cancelled trips with my wife. Whats done is done, take the piss and have a laugh about it, forget your anxieties until you both accept that shit happens all the time, and its not worth falling out over
Cheers
Phil