I update this thread so infrequently that I have to do a search for it each time. Anyway, finally managed to spend a couple of hours on this today so thought I'd bring it up to date,
I gave up on the Safelock, I just couldn't find a way to have it enabled that didn't cause the door-locking switch to be disabled and keep the doors unlocked any time the alarm wasn't armed. I've settled on using the method I mentioned before while playing with VCDS, the "2 lock option". This is a separate option from Safelock (which is no longer displayed on MFD) and I still don't really understand what this would normally be used for, but when set to active it deadlocks all the doors on pressing the lock button on remote as well as when pressing the internal lock button. The latter is the only drawback, you are deadlocked in at night, which obviously would cause problems evacuating the van if there was a fire and the electrics were disabled. I've decided to take the risk when I'm away camping, but will set it back to standard non-deadlocking with VCDS when I take my grandaughter away.
So the alarm. I spent some time on and off over the winter perfecting the arduino code and testing all sorts of sensors and in the end have gone back to using ultrasonics. It now takes multiple reading from two sources and averages them and is now extremely stable, once being left for 8 days with no false alarms but immediately went off when someone came within a metre of it. So the next step was to find a way of making the output from the Arduino trigger the alarm. Poring over the wiring diagrams, the easiest way seemed to be to break into the brown/blue wire coming from the passenger door open/close sensor where it comes through the door boot. My idea was that breaking this connection would make the BCM think the door had been opened, setting the alarm off. That didn't happen. The wire does indeed communicate whether the door is open, but it's looking for a particular signal to tell it if the door is open - breaking the connection just means that it can't tell and defaults to shut. I tried various resistances before getting the meter out. On DC setting it reads 250mv closed and 2.5v open. On AC it reads 4.4v closed and 0v open, with a frequency of 100Hz. I didn't have a scope so I have no idea of what the waveform is or how to trigger it.
It's not the end of the world as I can get a direct feed from the door lock itself before it gets to the door control module, I was just trying to do it the easy way as I am sick and tired of pulling the door cards off (which are starting to look a bit ragged at the corners they've been off so many times) and removing the locks.
The bigger problem is that I was going to use the alarm siren signal to trigger my new internal piezo deafeners and strobes, thinking it would be 12v (or at least 5v+ so I could use a relay). If that turns out to be some canbus pulse I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe take the feed from the actual siren itself, but I don't suppose that's going to be easy to get to or any potential thief could just snip this to shut it off.
One step forward, one step backward...