The Jokes Thread...

[dubber36]

 

[Jimmmmy]

 

[Andy McCannick]

 

[Proberts]

A friend of mine daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, he was born with no eye lids so the Drs decided to circumcise him and use the skin for his eye lids. Everything went perfect but he's cock eyed now.

 

[PBLP]

 

[Bav]

View attachment 261895

I keep one of those in the van, for emergencies!

 

[PBLP]

I keep one of those in the van, for emergencies!

Me too, but not brown emergencies…

 

[Bav]

Me too, but not brown emergencies…

Quite!

 

[dubber36]

 

[dubber36]

 

[The Flying Scotsman]

View attachment 262008

Exactly why I’m developing a passenger ejector seat
Im sure there will be a huge demand for it.

 

[Bav]

I'm thinking of having dual-controls fitted to mine... you know, to cut out the middle man. (Like f*ck I am!).

 

[cgtmiles]

 

[Andy McCannick]

 

[Lanky]

Yes, but think of the foresight he will have!

A friend of mine daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a couple of days ago. Unfortunately, he was born with no eye lids so the Drs decided to circumcise him and use the skin for his eye lids. Everything went perfeYct but he's cock eyed now.

 

[Andy McCannick]

 

[ChrisBell]

Saw this at swimming pool! Who ever thought there was soooo much profit to be made in BJ sauce! (Chippy prices have fairly rocketed) Chinese brown gravy doesn't sound too appealing! Some advertising!

 

[Salty Spuds]

9.1K views · 6.5K reactions | Nigella Lawson talks a little rude in this comedy mashup #nigellalawson #nigella #mashup #funny #rude #cook #funnyreel | Phil Glew-Deval

Nigella Lawson talks a little rude in this comedy mashup #nigellalawson #nigella #mashup #funny #rude #cook #funnyreel.

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[Proberts]

Did you know that Mary Poppins has stopped giving head whilst wearing lipstick.
Apparently, the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dick taste quite atrocious.