The Jokes Thread...

I have my “ really nice van “ this is going to be my last car / van and I think it is great
( sad but true )

Now on the other hand - a new wife …………
 
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You will have to explain the joke - what is Euro 2024? I see that it is something to do with something called football.
Like you I have no idea about football and even less about the England team- but I’m assuming the team themselves are the « joke ».
Do I win £5?
 
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Nothing wrong with playing it. Unfortunately it’s like most sport, it’s not about the sport anymore it’s the ££££.
I love listening to the top managers in interviews. They vary slightly but normally it’s along the lines of ‘we need to play hard and score more goals’
You can see why they are head hunted with skills like that.
 
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I am Scottish I know nothing about what you talk about - what is this thing you call
“ football “ ? ( you can replace the word “ football “ with “ cricket “ if you wish “
 
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head ?
Doug.

What you call a man rolling around in a big pile of leaves?
Russell.

What do call a man standing on the edge of a vertical drop?
Cliff.
What do you call a blind deer?
No eye deer

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a girl with one leg?
Ilene
 
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What do you call a blind deer?
No eye deer

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a girl with one leg?
Ilene
You missed the all important one.
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?



Still no f*****g idea.


I'm here all week :uh run:
 
What do you call a T-rex who sells pistols?

A small arms dealer.

************

Why did the T-rex die out?

He couldn't embrace change.
 
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